Obsession is a part of many people's lifestyles. Some people are obsessed by love, while others are driven to work long hours. Sometimes, little obsessions we fail to notice imprison us, like daily calendars or tidiness. Still other people become obsessive about their physical appearance, eating habits, collecting things, or sports. You know you have an obsession when you think you are driven to do something and you believe it is true. Drive can be useful, but, when it becomes an obsession, it can work against us because it eliminates our freedom to choose and pushes our lives out of balance.

Senso (1954), by Luchino Visconti , is an intriguing film about a Countessa (played by Alida Valli) who is smitten with a young, Austrian military man (Farley Granger). She becomes so obsessed with her love for him that she is unable to see his deceit. Her obsession makes it impossible for her make choices that serve her needs, which is eventually her undoing. Seeing this movie will show you how an obsession can ruin a person's life.

Do you get lost in obsessions and pay a price? If so, awareness of the drama that has you in its grip can free you from it.

Your movie

In a moment, you will use your imagination to get a clearer view of your inner movie about obsession. The point of understanding this pattern of thoughts, feelings, and effects is to deepen your awareness of its dynamics and impact, so you can make conscious choices and create a new movie to live within.

Recall a time when you felt driven to the point where you felt obsessed. Close your eyes and replay the experience in your imagination. Then, write a brief description of the drama below, carefully including the thoughts that supported it, the feelings that arose from those thoughts, and how those feelings affected what you said and did. (Enter your response in the following box or in your word processor window.)

What effects did this drama have on you and others?

Consequences

Briefly describe what you get from your obsession. What are the payoffs?

Briefly describe the price you pay for it. What parts of yourself and your life do you sacrifice when you are too obsessed?

Is what you are getting in payoffs worth the sacrifices you are making? Explain.

New choices

Having become more aware of this movie, including what you get from it and what you sacrifice, what new choices in thinking and being are being revealed to you? Note them.

Create a new movie

Relying on those choices and your creativity, sketch out ideas for a different movie which incorporates new ways of thinking and being. As you create your new movie, be aware that you are of two minds because you have a dual nature. Your duality gives you the capacity to shift from one thought to its opposite in a search for balance. For example, there is a part of you that can exercise choice instead of losing it through obsession. How will cultivating that capacity for choice alter how you live?

As you look back on your work, identify the first step you will take to make the changes you designed.

With your eyes closed, imagine living in your new movie.

Obsession is the loss of perspective and choice, which is the loss of freedom. When we are driven to satisfy a need, whatever it is, we live in the belief that we have to do it because we have no choice. In a way, obsession is an excuse to pursue an end without restraint. When restraint is given up, we lose the tension of opposites within us that creates balance. Out of balance in our obsession, we pay a big price. When we balance desire to satisfy a need with a bigger perspective, we can pursue goals, even romantic ones, without ending up in the darkness of despair. When desire and perspective work together in balance, they will serve us.

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