What is unresolved in our minds--the things we still dislike about ourselves and hide from others--makes us vulnerable. Vulnerability is a thought that we are at risk. If we feel physically vulnerable, our bodies are being threatened in some way. If we feel psychologically vulnerable, we can feel threatened by comments and behavior of others. We live "on guard." We may also feel vulnerable to internal forces, such as attacks of anxiety or urges that seem destructive. When we are in a thought of vulnerability, we are at a weak point, where doing anything constructive is difficult. When we feel too vulnerable, the sense of weakness immobilizes us and makes our lives tentative and miserable. Out of balance, we need to call up the side of us that is strong and well-protected, as we see in Woody Allen's film Play It Again Sam (1972).

In this intriguing and funny film, Allen plays his typical character, a man who is vulnerable around women. To deal with this, he imagines the presence of a Humphrey Bogart character lurking in the background as his shadow self--tough, confident, and determined. By introducing this shadow tough guy, Allen reveals the attitudes and resources one needs to overcome vulnerability in order to feel strong and defended. If vulnerability is one of your issues, viewing Allen's film can give you ideas about how to shift to the stronger side of yourself when you are feeling weak. You can begin to make that change by watching and altering the script of "Exposed," a movie within your mind.

Your movie

In a moment, you will use your imagination to get a clearer picture of your inner movie about vulnerability. The point of understanding this pattern of thoughts, feelings, and effects is to deepen your awareness of its dynamics and impact, so you can make conscious choices and create a new movie to live within.

Recall a time when you felt vulnerable. Close your eyes and replay the experience in your imagination. Then, write a brief description of that drama below, carefully including the thoughts that supported it, the feelings that arose from those thoughts, and how those feelings affected what you said and did. (Enter your response in the following box or in your word processor window.)

What effects did this drama have on you and others?

Consequences

Briefly describe what you get from feeling vulnerable. What are the payoffs?

Briefly describe the price you pay for it. What parts of yourself and your life do you sacrifice when you feel too vulnerable?

Is what you are getting in payoffs worth the sacrifices you are making? Explain.

New choices

Having become more aware of this movie, including what you get from it and what you sacrifice, what new choices in thinking and being are revealed to you? Note them.

Create a new movie

Relying on those choices and your creativity, sketch out ideas for a different movie which incorporates new ways of thinking and being. As you create your new movie, be aware that you are of two minds because you have a dual nature. Your duality gives you the capacity to shift from one thought to its opposite in a search for balance. For example, there is a side of you that can function with the attributes of self-assurance, toughness, and detachment that we associate with Humphrey Bogart. How will cultivating those capacities alter how you live?

As you look back on your work, identify the first step you will take to make the changes you designed.

With your eyes closed, imagine living in the new movie you created.

Personal vulnerability scares us because we are afraid of getting hurt. It is natural for us to feel this way. Everyone feels weak and vulnerable at times. When those feelings become extreme, however, we are thrown out of balance and will pay a price. To recover our balance, we consciously call up the Humphrey Bogart-like qualities within us--self-acceptance, self-assurance, toughness, and the willingness to risk getting hurt.

Feeling weak and strong are two sides of our duality. Being too weak or too strong can both produce unpleasant consequences. Being too weak, we hold back too much and live without the deep connections to others that make life interesting. Being too strong, we may push so hard for our point of view, so others will resist and work to undermine us. When we discover the balance point between weak and strong, we find a way to live that is quietly confident but not arrogant.

back to movie menu/ top/ home