"Little Voice"

The Drama of Shyness




Communication is an opportunity to share ourselves with others, yet, for many shy people, expressing their real opinions is avoided for fear of retaliation or looking bad. When they hold back their opinions, they are holding themselves back out of fear that they will not be seen as good enough. This fear weakens their presence in the world and limits their creativity. When holding back becomes too extreme, it works against the idea of having existed as a person in the world, which is the worst form of loneliness. While shy people try to be invisible, they long for a powerful voice so they can bring themselves into being and be a force in the world.

In Little Voice (1998) with Jane Horrocks in the leading role, we see an extreme form of shyness. Faced with an extroverted mother (Brenda Blethyn) who cannot shut up, she retreats to her room where she listens to the music of many well-known singers. As she listens, she mimics her favorite stars, until she can sing like them. Unable to speak freely in the presence of other people, she finds an outlet for self-expression in song. One day, a local music promoter (played by Michael Caine) hears her sing and tries hard to recruit her for his night club. She eventually caves in and, inspired by the appearance of an image of her deceased father, she sings with inspiration and power. The exuberance of the audience's response puts money signs in the promoter's eyes and, with the help of the mother, he plots a music career for her daughter. Watching, we wait, hoping that the shy, young girl will eventually speak up and take a stand. If your shy reluctance holds you back from speaking your mind, "Little Voice" is your inner movie.

Your movie

In a moment, you will use your imagination to get a clearer picture of your inner movie about not speaking out. The point of understanding this pattern of thoughts, feelings, and effects is to deepen your awareness of its dynamics and impact, so you can make conscious choices and create a new movie to live within.

Recall a time when you were afraid to express yourself. Close your eyes and replay the experience in your imagination. Then, write a brief description of the drama below, carefully including the thoughts that supported the drama, the feelings that arose from those thoughts, and how those feelings affected what you said and did. (Enter your response in the following box or in your word processor window.)



What effects did this drama have on you and others?

Consequences

Briefly describe what you get from holding your opinions back. What are the payoffs?

Briefly describe the price you pay for it. What parts of yourself and your life do you sacrifice by remaining silent?


Is what you are getting in payoffs worth the sacrifices you are making? Explain.


New choices

Having become more aware of this movie, including what you get from it and what you sacrifice, what new choices in thinking and being are being revealed to you? Note them.

Create a new movie

Relying on those choices and your creativity, sketch out ideas for a different movie which incorporates new ways of thinking and being. As you create your new movie, be aware that you are of two minds because you have a dual nature. Your duality gives you the capacity to shift from one thought to its opposite in a search for balance. For example, there is a part of you that has the courage to speak up. How will cultivating that capacity alter how you live?



As you look back on your work, identify the first step you will take to make the changes you designed.

With your eyes closed, imagine living in your new movie.

Sometimes we hold back when we should state our opinions and, on other occasions, holding back is the wisest thing to do. When we are free to express or withhold our views, then we can choose what is the appropriate response for each situation. Balance is the capacity to live in the middle with both choices in hand.

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