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Interpretation and Judgment
We constantly interpret and judge our experiences as "good" or "bad," which includes the survival-based judgment of "safe" and "dangerous." Imagine waking up in the morning and immediately grabbing two bags, the "good" bag and the "bad" bag. All day long, you will be making judgments about everything--what you say and do, what others say and do, how the day is going, and how you are feeling. Imagine each time you make a judgment you put it in one of your bags. By the end of the day your bags will be full. Often, the "bad" bag overflows. The next day you will start with empty bags and fill them again. It is that way every day, because human beings interpret and assess everything. We are judges. Judgment is so automatic and pervasive; we hardly notice how much it rules us, our relationships, and our lives.
In the movie Fanny and Alexander (1983) by Ingmar Bergmann, we see the power of a child developing the internal parent who judges. In the film, Alexander's stepfather, a cleric, is Alexander's worst critic. He is constantly pointing out errors in Alexander's ways. The tragedy of the film emerges as we watch Alexander internalize his stepfather's harsh judgments, so at the end he has created the stepfather within himself. You know that he will live a life of self-condemnation and that it will be automatic. His thinking, created in his interaction with a cruel man, will be one that diminishes his potential for a great life. How many people have crafted thoughts which included a similar fate? How many of us are still carrying the judgments of parents and teachers who were our vigorous opponents?
