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About Jim
Compensation for Inadequacy
We seek to compensate for our feelings of inadequacy by enlarging the size of our egos so we can feel good about ourselves. Remembering back to when you were a child, you may notice that after childhood you became more cautious about what you said and did in the public realm. This conformity is most rampant during adolescence and it slowly reverses itself as we age. When reaching fifty, we may find ourselves returning to the childlike freedom of not being so concerned about approval from others, although this varies from person to person.
Young children are less concerned about public appearance because they have not yet learned to feel inadequate and they are constantly getting positive reinforcement for what they do in school. Elementary school is a time for building the self-esteem of the child as well as imparting knowledge. When children move to middle school, something changes. Teachers and their peers become more critical, pointing out where they are failing to meet standards. By constantly receiving negative feedback from adults and their peers, children learn to feel more inadequate. This inadequacy makes them feel little and weak and they do not like feeling that way, so they begin to compensate anytime circumstances make their egos feel little. This may include bragging or putting others down. Bullying is often a child’s attempt to compensate for feeling weak on the inside.Since we all go through this initiation into inadequacy, we learn a new life principle which is to be guarded and to manage the size of our egos so we can feel good about ourselves. By successfully compensating for our feelings of inadequacy, we try to feel bigger so we can feel better.
