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"Listen deeply!"Listening deeply to other person is not a practice we learn in school, from our parents, or our friends. When we fail to listen at that deeper level, we miss important parts of the person's story. Normally, we hear the facts of the situation and we tune into the person's feelings. Then, we're ready to launch into our opinions about what the person should do. That is not deep listening. When we're listening deeply, we listen for the facts and we listen for the person's feelings, but we don't stop there. Then, we listen for the needs behind the feelings. But we don't stop there. Then, we listen for what the person wants changed-the desired outcome. When we listen for the facts, for feelings, for needs, and for the desired outcome, we get a more complete picture of that person's situation. By listening that deeply, we bring the person into the fullness of being. This is a special gift that we can give to another. So, when you're listening to someone share a problem, instead of jumping in to share your views, say to yourself "Listen Deeply!" This will awaken you to the fact that you can't give an opinion until you listen carefully to the whole story. After you've listened at the four levels, share what you've heard with the person and then ask, "What do you see as ways of dealing with this issue?" By asking the person for possible solutions, before giving your own opinion, you're inviting that person's mind to create solutions.
