Is Another Way Of Living And Being
We live in ways that reduce our happiness and
well-being. This ordinary way of life is so automatic, we seldom pause
to ask if it can be changed. The Woo Way cultivates awareness,
choice, and change. It creates the possibility of living and being in
a new way.
You Have The Power
We think we are free, but live automatically
like machines. Even though we often think and behave like robots, we
have the capacity for awareness, choice, and change. This makes remodeling
of the self possible, so we have more control over what we think, say,
Ideals Have Teeth
Our ideals can make
us suffer. We are constantly measuring ourselves and others against
our standards and society's expectations. When those ideals learn toward
perfectionism, they develop sharp teeth that can bite into us.
Want To Look Good And Be Accepted
We try to look good and be accepted by others. When we succeed, we feel
great. When we fail, we feel terrible. Awareness of this automatic pattern
gives us the choice to embrace looking bad and rejection so we can care
less about proving our worth to others.
4: I Want Independence And Control
Independence and control are prized in our society. When we achieve
them, confidence gives rise to good feelings and success. When we fail,
we may feel trapped, dominated, and unhappy. Through awareness, a new
way to deal with these issues is discovered.
5: I Want To Be Right
Imagine someone saying to you, "You're wrong." How do you automatically
react? Probably with resistance, because we love being right and dislike
being wrong about our beliefs. Being right gives us a feeling of control
and certainty. Knowing this, we get to make a change.
6: I Need To Feel Safe
Human beings have many fears. Some are obvious and others dominate us
from the shadows. We are constantly managing our safety so we can survive
and succeed. When we know what controls us in the realm of security,
new choices appear.
A Shrinking Ego
Our egos are like balloons that constantly expand and deflate. We love
the inflations, but suffer from the deflations. There is a way to restore
the size of a shrinking ego by making a "recovery claim." When we do,
we develop more control over our reactions to what others say and do.
8: Weaving Stories Of Deception
Two deceptive practices we employ in our storytelling are omission of
the truth and giving false information, also known as blatant lying.
These forms of deception can damage our relationships because they undermine
trust. Honesty has the opposite effect.
9: The Power Of Your Word
Watch what people do, not just what they say. How many people say one
thing and do another? Do we trust their word? When we honestly communicate
what we intend to do, then do it, we begin to live with greater integrity.
Others trust what we say, so our relationships work better.
10: Just The Facts
Since our minds want certainty, we make up stories about people and
situations where we have little or no information. We can suffer from
the stories we make up. When we quit telling the stories and just state
the facts, we put a stop to the suffering and move into greater effectiveness.
11: Stories Can Become Thought Prisons
Do we blame something in the past for our lives not working? How many
of us create stories about the present that limit us and make us unhappy?
How many of us paint a bleak picture of the future? Understanding what
we get from those stories, a new choice appears.
12: Quiet And Talkative People
Learning about the type of human animal we are is important for understanding
how we relate to other people. Realizing that we are a quiet or talkative
person is liberating. Personal growth expands by accepting our type
or by developing our neglected abilities.
13: Families Are Like Zoos
Cooperation and conflict between people often emerge from differences
of psychological type. Human animals with different natures try to change
each other, but these reform efforts rarely succeed. Learning to accept
differences of type improves relationships and expands love.
14: Attraction Does Not Insure Satisfaction
What is the magic of personal attraction and how can it get us into
trouble? We are sometimes attracted to potential mates or friends who
later become "nightmares." When we understand our needs, more conscious
choices about our relationships become possible.
15: High Ideals Can Ruin Relationships
Some of us enter relationships hoping that they will be perfect. Since
relationships cannot possibly meet such high expectations, we become
disappointed. When we accept all relationships as flawed, we are able
to consciously cultivate mutual satisfaction.
16: Listening Deeply
We seldom listen carefully to others, so our relationships suffer. Deep
listening can improve relationships overnight. By learning to listen
at four levels, we achieve depth in the way we listen, so greater mutual
understanding develops. From that understanding, relationships deepen.
17: Speaking To Be Fully Understood
Once we know how to listen deeply, we can communicate deeply. Deep listening
and speaking move us from blaming to co-creating solutions to problems.
By listening and speaking at depth, relationships improve and everyone
18: Fixing And Improving Relationships
Most of us have no clear procedures for solving our relationships problems
or improving them when things are going well. A strategy for co-creating
ideas to solve problems and improve relationships is introduced and
19: Cleaning Up Relationships
Knowing how to clean up relationships is important. When we fail to
do the clean up work, the past can become a heavy weight on our minds.
Forgiveness, acceptance, and completion are ways of cleaning up our
relationships, so the present and future become our focus.
20: Life Out Of Balance
We suffer from living in a one-sided way, because we are of two minds.
We have a dual nature, so contradiction is not something to avoid but
embrace. When we integrate the opposites within us, we become more balanced,
which is a goal of "individuation."
21: Shadow Projection
Wanting to look good, we project our neglected shadow side onto others,
and then dislike or hate them for it. Awareness of this pattern gives
us the opportunity to take back our projections and reclaim the two
sides of our nature.
22: Cultivating Wisdom
Instead of looking to others for wisdom, we seek wisdom from within
ourselves. To cultivate it, we consult with our inner wise person and
then discover that we already carry wisdom in our pocket. When we use
it, our lives work better.
23: Thoughts Can Torture You
Many of us construct mental torture chambers where we suffer "on the
rack" of our own negative thinking. Becoming aware of this pattern,
we get into the "director's chair" and learn to stop the thoughts that
make us suffer.
24: Fears Are Often Exaggerations
Worriers suffer from exaggerated estimates of bad things happening.
By understanding fear as a thought that magnifies misfortune, we claim
more freedom of choice about it. By using the "1% rule," the size of
our fear is reduced so it no longer stops us automatically.
25: No Resistance
We expect and desire things to be a certain way and when they appear
otherwise, we become frustrated or angry. By putting up resistance to
the way life occurs, we cultivate stress and lives of discontent. By
stopping the resistance, living becomes easier.
26: Reducing The Size Of Your Problems
Some of us are experts at making little problems into big ones, then
we suffer from the added weight. When we learn to see with the eyes
of the mouse and the buffalo, we reduce the size of our problems. With
less weighty problems, we have less weighty lives.
27: Creating Your Life
Our lives are our
own creations. Using our creativity, we invent a new identity, life
purposes, and ethical principles as if our life were starting now. We
make up the reasons why we were born in order to make our lives count.
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to Green Dragon Books.